Monday, 13 June 2016


Every day this awful confrontation of consumer flirtation, ego and the overwhelming darkness of humanitarian disasters. I spent today with myself. Opened the fridge....strawberries, spring onions and a radish. Coffee. Found walnuts. Spontaneously bought a psychedelic sofa which will no doubt be too big for my nano size flat.  Arranged my new dreads and went shopping looking like Medusa and hoping to turn people to stone. Returned with geraniums and mould killer. Retail therapy is the black hole of despair and women do it more than men. Spilt bleach over a favourite dress. Drank some Ryanair vodka. Took a couple of selfies and felt selfishly vain and shallow. Nothing I do makes anything feel better, not even being a volunteer helper.  Wept copiously listening to BBC radio's The Island, The Sea, The Volunteer and The Refugee. (Listen to it if you can) Drank more vodka. A million tortured souls climb into bed with me. The futility of not being fully there because the horror constantly  harangues. Hangs in the air like a muted scream.  Nothing diminishes the magnitude of horror - except the media. We are all drowning.


When Omar Mateen, a mentally unstable homophobic American killed 49 people in Orlando with guns bought  as easily as fries from McDonalds, he found himself with an unlikely soul mate.  Mateen  had  previously been  investigated by the FBI for 'terrorist' connections, and  his ex-wife had reported him as violent. His father is believed to have sympathies for the Afghan Taliban. At the same time another mentally unstable American, with a reputation for marital rape, fraud, bullying, mafia dealings, racism, bankruptcies, etc and who might be the next American President, was already  exploiting similar 'terrorist' attacks for his 'Keep Muslims out of America' campaign. Islamaphobes  have flocked while ISIS creates its own political capital from murderers like Mateen and touts the killers as their own. If they met, Mateen and Trump would probably find themselves getting along very well.  They share  the same bigotry, and a  belief that  any means justifies their end, which is ultimately world dominance - either by an Islamic  Caliphate or by Neo-con corporatism. You can take your pick because  there's not much difference between either of their tyrannies. They share mysogyny, mind-numbing propaganda, censorship, racism  and  the curtailment of  freedoms as their modus operandi. Religion may have less of a hold on Americans, but Trump is busy shaping a replacement cult ideology. Still in its infancy, it probably  gives the Islamists a lead in the race, unrestricted as they are   by an unwieldy and  sham democracy, and  only answerable  to an Ultimate Authority who speaks through an outdated  best seller.

It's a marriage made in heaven on the way to hell. Like all marriages, there are differences: one is religious, the other isn't, (Trump never gives more than a nod to Jesus), and  one is alive and the other dead - which hardly matters as there are plenty more Mateens ready to say, 'I do.'  They  share  the same  sadistic and  misogynistic contempt for women,  and both  are symptomatic of a moral and political rot that erodes the freedom and humanity of each of us. The enemy is anyone who is not with them, and pointing the finger (or gun) at an unsuspecting 'other'  merely  capitilises on  fear  and  diverts from  the real cause of the problem - a system that churns out  psycho-maniacs faster than Trump churns out his insane lies. Men of their ilk  are spreading like an epidemic - the sooner one appears, than another pops up, either in a suicide vest or on a campaign podium. They have always been there using whatever will serve  their insatiable desire for power, and propped up  by the  compliant, lost and brainwashed. Islamic and western  imperialism has already polarised the world. It's been like this for centuries.  Men like Mateen and Trump will do anything to achieve  their half-baked ideas which are fed by hatred and a belief that they are right and everyone else is wrong.   They are symptomatic of a  worn-out,  brutalising capitalism which is past its sell-by date. What terrifies them most is the intelligence of  a united, growing, secular,  grassroots movement  based on equality, diversity and justice, with love at its core.